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Hi, I’m Fred.
Alright, good observation, Sherlock! I am a little under-tall. OK. You got me. Not that I’m conscious about that..but…seriously…quit grinning, dude!
What I am lacking in size, I’m making up in character. Since you’re already following me, our future shenanigans on this here website will show you the difference between actual size and gigantuan charm. But, brace yourself, and definitely, hold back that lady of yours, ‘cause, you know…they flock to me.
Yes, like any other hoofed animal, from Antelopes, to my colleagues the Bison, up to…umm..what was that striped abomination again…yeah! the Zebra, I am an outside person. I have recently given up the efforts in marking my territory and hired some human help to just stake my claims via discreet fence posts. Yet, when you least expect it, I will camp out in the living room of my live-in help.
Indeed, they’re my helping hands, as I categorically deny to be considered an owned animal.
Dirk, the guy that I hired to bring me my daily diet of hand selected hay, is well trained once he steps inside. He actually takes his shoes off! Ha! He’s just a cute guy, and actually, as far as helping, cooking and cleaning and ironing my daily wardrobe is concerned, this guy’s got it goin’ on!
Then of course, there’s Jessie, Dirks fundamentally better half. She is practically my personal trainer and on-call physician. Thankfully, she’s surprisingly reliable. If she could only lay off her tall horse addiction!
It feels like every-single-darn-time I turn around, there’s another 4 legged tall person running around in my personal backyard. Good thing that I have manners, otherwise I’d have Dirk bring me that stepping stool to give me a chance to roundhouse kick some mare mane through the landscape.
Anyways, before you get the wrong impression here; I’m really actually a lover and not a fighter. So, if you’re ever around the area, just hit me up…with an apple…or…grain…or..whatever, just make it tasty!
See ya ‘round, cowboys!
F.